Her Everything
by locainlove
Summary: Sequel to Never Coming Home. It's been a year and she's still devastated...she just cant live without him...why couldn't he take her with him? Kagome's thoughts on the death of her loved one, Inuyasha. Song fic. Sequel to this coming soon.


**A/N: Hello! This is the sequal to Never Coming Home! This is not an epilouge! The lyrics are in italics, dont mind the flash back. ENJOY! The song I used was My Immortal by Evanescence!**

**Her Everything**

It had been one year since that dreaded day.

The day that Naraku was finally defeated.

Yet she didn't see it. She didn't know how Naraku was really defeated. All she knew was that _he_ had done it on his own.

He did it to avenge her, but he died. He died in doing so, he gave up his life for hers. She had died before that, she knew that too, but somehow she was alive again.

But she didn't want to be alive.

Kagome sighed saddly at where her feet had guided her. It was the Goshinboku, where she had first met Inuyasha. That thought brought tears to her eyes. Inuyasha was dead, and she'll never see him again. It had been a year since then and she had lost all hope.

That day...that damn day...she had woken up after being in a dark, cold place all alone. She was lying in a pool of her own blood. At first she thought it was his, but he wasn't wounded in any place. Then she remembered what had happened to her. That damned Naraku killed her. That damn Naraku caused Inuyasha's death.

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Supressed by all my childish fears_

It was so hard to believe. He had looked so...peaceful...she thought he was just resting. But she tried waking him up...she tried...and then she rolled him onto his back, rubbed his ears, flicked his nose, heck she even tried to tickle him.

But he was gone.

He was souless.

Just an empty shell.

Then she saw the jewel and understood.

"...Inuyasha...why...?"

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

Kagome bit back a sob and stared up at the God Tree. The tree had been her only consolance for the whole year. She could still feel his presence in the tree. It were as if he were there with her, at that moment.

But of course she would feel his presence, his grave was infront of the tree. It seemed right, he loved that tree. He slept on it for fifty years, rested on it, ate on it, watched Kagome from it, so he was buried infront of it.

Yet still, it felt like the time Kikyou had pushed her into the well and there was no way for her to come back. He was there, and she was able to communicate with him through the Tree of Ages, the Goshinkboku. That time, he gave her the courage to come back to him.

His presence still lingered in his favorite place and it haunted her. She could feel him, but she had to be realistic. He was dead and gone. There was no more of the infamous half demon Inuyasha.

There was_ no _more.

_Because your presence still lingers here_

_And it wont leave me alone_

The pain...it still hurt so much. Her heart was wounded and she didn't think it would ever heal. He needed to be the one to heal her. He was her glue. But there's no more he. She _had_ to realize it.

Kagome told herself that everyday. Sometimes she woke up and wondered why she didn't see Inuyasha being his grumpy self somewhere. And then she had to remind herself, oh right, he's dead.

But there was one thing that helped her get through the days. He promised her that he wouldn't leave her, and she knew that not even death could stop him from that. He was with her everywhere she went, because he was in her heart. She knew he was watching her from where ever he was, and it made her happy. It was a feeling, a feeling that if she told someone else, they'd think she was crazy.

But she wasn't...she was just still in love.

Why, oh **why**, was he stupid enough to give up his life for**her**?

_These wounds wont seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

Kagome wouldn't put it past Inuyasha. He was too loyal to just let her die while he lived on. But wasn't she feeling that now too? She would have died for him to be alive now too, yet then the cycle would repeat. She hated this. **Really** hated this.

She had gone to her time a month after his death and cried on her mother's lap once the truth sunk in. Her mother comforted her andcried with her since she had been through the same. Not only that, but she had lost a person that had been like a son to her, a protecter to them all.

She also went to school to try to get her mind off of Inuyasha's death and try to graduate. It didn't work one bit. Her friends had asked her about her two timing violent boyfriend and she hadn't known what to say.

So she just told them the truth. Half of the truth. He died in an accident. They had sypathized, but the next day they told her that he didn't really deserve her mourning. That was when she drew the line. No one dared say that to her.

_No_ _one._

The villagers in Kaede's village had said along the same things. Not all of them of course. Most of them respected the hanyou for being their village protecter. He had been there to drive demons away from the village and protect Kaede countless of times. The villagers thanked him for that and praised him. He was still in their prayers, even after death.

Yet some of them were stupid enough to curse him...call him an abomination that tainted her and everyone that had been around him. She over heard one of them talking to another, saying how he had her under some sort of spell. It disgusted her, and she showed them what would happen if you talked wrongly about the dead.

_When you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

Kagome remembered all the times she had been there for Inuyasha. There was a time when Inuyasha had been really stressed out. They were alone infront of the Goshinkboku, and that day he opened up to her for the first time.

She had almost thought that he was going to cry, but he held them in while he told her everything that was bothering him. That day...that day was the day that she knew she had to stay with him. That day she realized what he meant to her...and what she meant to him.

There was also a time when Inuyasha had a terrible nightmare. No one else noticed but her, one night he had almost fallen out of the tree and it woke her up. His eyes told her everything even if he tried to hide it.

She had wanted to comfort him, and she did. It resulted with her having to cradle him in her arms while he slept. She sang to him softly, and he never had a nightmare since.

_And I've held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have _

_All of me_

Kagome had been with Inuyasha a total of three years. Well, she forgot to subtract this year since he really wasn't there physically to begin with. So it was only two. She had met him when she was fifteen, and now she was eighteen, not knowing what to do with her life without him.

She had dreamed of being with him forever like she had promised him so long ago. She had dreamed of becoming his mate and having his children, not someone else's. She just couldn't bare to love another like she had loved Inuyasha. It was impossible. She felt tainted and dirty just thinking about it, she was only his.

Dead or alive, her soul was only with his.

_You used to captivate me _

_By your resonating light_

Kagome had always thought that Inuyasha was a beautiful person. He disagreed when she told him this, and he had blushed when she had said that he was handsome. She never had the courage to say it to him, but she did a few weeks before the dreaded day. And she was happy that atleast he knew what she thought of him. He knew that she loved him with all her might. That was enough to calm her soul.

A few months ago, Kagome encountered Kikyou when she came to visit the Goshinkboku, the tree that she had sealed Inuyasha on over fifty years ago. She had asked about Inuyasha and how Naraku had died, and Kagome couldn't help but feel very bitter, since of course the pain was still fresh.

It had surprised her when Kikyou actually looked sad at his death. Hadn't Kikyou wanted Inuyasha to die and go to hell with her for a long time? But, from then on, Kagome realized that Kikyou had loved Inuyasha once, and his death was just as a heavy blow on her too.

She was glad that Kikyou empathized with her, and knew exactly what she was going through. She was also glad to hear that Kikyou would be soon resting in peace now that she had nothing to do with the living. Kagome knew that would make Inuyasha happy, and it eased her even more that his soul could rest in peace knowing that the last of his life resolutions was done.

_But now I'm bound to the life you left behind_

Kagome had to admit that it wasn't only her and Kikyou that took Inuyasha's death the hardest. Shippo did too...oh poor Shippo...

He was the only reason that Kagome still visited the Feudal Era. He needed her now that Inuyasha wasn't there to protect him, or spend time with him. She didn't know that Shippo had cared so much about the hanyou, she still heard him whimper his name in his sleep even after a year of Inuyasha's death.

Shippo had told her once that Inuyasha visited him in his dreams. It had made the kitsune happy, and Kagome decided to believe him. Inuyasha, even if he never showed it, loved that kid like as if he were his own. But there were times when Shippo would have nightmares like she had of Inuyasha. Did that mean Shippo and her had some sort of connection with Inuyasha? Couldn't be possible, right?

Yet, it tore her heart that she coudn't do more than just be there for the kit to cry on. She should correct herself: she needed him as well.

Miroku and Sango prayed for his soul everyday. The two had married a few months ago but still weren't planning on having children just yet. They both had lost a very good friend, and it was hard for Miroku to find a best man for the wedding. He had planned on having Inuyasha as his, since the hanyou had fit the description well of a best man for him, but the turn of events were cruel to them all.

It was pretty hard having the wedding without the hanyou since his presence would have made it more worth while with his snappy comments and insensitive attitude. Yet, everyone knew that where ever the hanyou was, he was watching, most likely saying comments about the wedding to his deceased loved ones. Such a pity, the thing the group thought was the most annoying thing about the hanyou turned out to be the most missed.

Even Kaede missed the hanyou very much. She even admitted to missing him calling her an old hag everytime he saw her. She had known him a large portion of her life, ever since she was young and now that she was old. Now that the rude, strong hanyou was gone and out of her life, she missed him very much. He had been most likey older than her, but she had acted like his guardian, trying to guide him in the right path.

"Everyone misses you, Inuyasha...you had thought no one would, but...everyone does..."

_Your face it haunts_

_My once pleasant dreams_

He was in all of her dreams. Some were of her dearest memories of him, some were times that she wished to forget, but others...killed her. Once she dreampt that he needed her help in some dark place...he kept on calling her name, but she couldn't find him. But then she woke up out of breath after she finally saw him. A very bloody, broken, and tattered him.

Kagome shook her head to relieve herself of the incoming images of the nightmares she's been having. No need to remind herself of the things she wished not to see. It scared her, and she wished more than ever to have someone to comfort her...not just anyone...her hanyou.

"Gods Kagome, face it! He's dead and gone! He's not coming back, stop thinking he is! He's not...he's...Inuyasha..." Kagome looked over to the grave she had made for her hanyou. His body really wasn't buried there, just his momentos. His clothing...things he kept in his haori...but not the Tetsusaiga. Oh no, she had made sure that was kept safe in her time.

No, his body had been cremated and safely guarded in a small shrine to make sure a repeat of what happened to Kikyou didn't happen again. That would surely devastate her, and finally she could understand what Inuyasha felt when Kikyou was wrongly resurrected.

Absolutely torn.

Torn in whether to believe he was real...or just a clay doll.

_Your voice it chased away_

_All the sainty in me_

She really had to stop reminiscing. It was killing her, all that had been, and all that could been. Why couldn't she face the truth? That he was dead and gone. Gone. Gone. **Gone!**

Kagome wiped away the tear that had found its way down her cheek. Is this what he felt when she died? This unbearable pain and lonliness? A feeling that the person who once knew you so well was gone, and now no one could understand you?

She didn't want to imagine how he must have felt. It was enough that Miroku told her what had happened after she was...killed. He said that Inuyasha looked just about ready to die as well. Before he was knocked unconscious, he had seen Inuyasha stand up from where her unmoving body layed and stared at Naraku with pure hatred in his eyes. A hatred that was set to kill.

And that was all that she needed to know what had happened next.

_These wounds wont seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

Kouga had passed by during the year to claim her as his mate. He was disappointed that he didn't get to avenge his comrads by killing Naraku, but that didn't matter. Since Naraku was dead, that meant that Kagura, Kanna, and the rest of his incarnations were dead as well. That was good enough for him.

But Kagome didn't want any of it. Kouga had made fun of Inuyasha actually dying, and she got so angry that Miroku and Sango had to drive Kouga away from her. However, after she cooled down, he came back to apologize. He had told her that he was going to stop trying to make her his mate, and go back to Ayame.

It made Kagome happy that he did, and even more happy that he passed by Inuyasha's real grave to pay him his respects. Kouga really did care about Inuyasha...those two acted like they hated each other, but they really just liked to spar a lot. Now if only some people could be more like Kouga and apologize to her?

Kouga wasn't the only one who passed by, Sesshoumaru came was well. It surprised everyone as the cold demon came to his brother's shrine to pay his respects. There was something akin to anger in his eyes, anger towards his brother or Naraku Kagome couldn't tell, but as soon as he came he had left. No words, no asking for Tetsusaiga, no nothing. But Kagome knew that if he was anything like his brother, that Sesshoumaru was silently mourning his death.

But as soon as he left villagers got rowdy and started yelling things about burning down the shrine. They had said things like Inuyasha ashes brought demons into the village and would get them all killed. It made her so angry, she just couldn't bare this hatred. Now she knew why Inuyasha was the way he was. All this directed to a mere child? If this was enough to drive her into angry fits of yelling, than she didn't want to imagine how it was for her poor Inuyasha.

But was it that no one could understand how she felt? Hasn't anyone lost someone so dear to them that they couldn't bear it if the name was even mentioned to them? Then why was everyone dead set on sticking the fact that Inuyasha died in her face?

That was partly why she had left the village today. It was the one year anniversery of Inuyasha's death and everyone couldn't shut up about it. Some were sad and had said they were going to visit his real grave to pray for his soul. Yet others had yelled about having a celebration that one more hanyou abomination was gone and dead from the world. But of course they didn't know she was listening.

Everywhere she went it was Inuyasha this, Inuyasha that, sorry about Inuyasha's death, get over Inuyasha, marry me now since Inuyasha's dead, for god sakes no one couldn't just leave her alone!

Now that Inuyasha wasn't there to ward of any offending males, the young men in the village thought that she was up for grabs. There wasn't one man that hadn't asked her to marry them, or marry one of their sons.

Atleast Shippo told them off for her now.

_When you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

"What am I supposed to do now? There's nothing left for me in this life. My job is done, and...I...who am I kidding?"

There was a time that she had wanted to kill herself just to be with him. She almost did too if it weren't for Shippo. Almost took that dagger and slid it across her throat. Not her wrists, that would take too long. But Shippo made her realize that there was something left for her. Her job was to protect him now and be his foster mother.

Raise him to be like his foster father...brave and strong.

_And I've held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have _

_All of me_

She remembered that day so well...as if it only happened this morning...the day she had woken up, and then the rest of the group woke up...and they all saw...

_...Flash Back...One year ago..._

_Kagome opened her eyes and let them adjust to the light. She didn't know what had happened to her, but all she remembered was being in a dark, cold place without anyone being there. She had been scared of what was going on, no matter how many times she screamed, no one heard her pleas. Was it a nightmare? She didn't know but...wait a second, weren't she and the group just fighting Naraku?_

_"Why do I feel so wet? And...what's this? Blood...?" And then silver...her first instinct was to think that it was Inuyasha's. He was laying right next to her...and he looked so peaceful..._

_"Inuyasha? Wake up. Inuyasha...come on wake up!" She tried waking him up with everything that she could think of. But he didn't move...his ears didn't even twitch..._

_Kagome got a bad feeling about that..._

_"What's wrong Kagome?" Kagome looked up to see that the others have arrived. Miroku and Sango were leaning on each other, it seemed like Sango broke her leg and Miroku injured his ankle. Shippo was on his shoulder and Kirara was curled in Sango's arms, still suffering from the hard hit she recieved from...Naraku..._

_The memories came back...now she knew...she had...died...and if she knew any better..._

_"No...n-no! Wake up right now Inuyasha! **WAKE UP!" **She pushed him onto his back and noticed his even more peaceful expression. He was almost smiling...and he had something clutched in his hands...Everyone then knew what had happened..._

_...Inuyasha used the jewel..._

_How was at the back of their minds. What was troubling them was if Inuyasha was still alive. But he wasn't. Kagome willed back all her tears until she did the final test. It would prove if Inuyasha was alive..._

_"Inuyasha...sit." Everyone's breath caught in their throats when they saw that nothing happened. The beads were lifeless, just like the body it was on. It was then that everyone realized...there was no more Inuyasha..._

_"Inuyasha...oh gods..." Sango buried her face in Miroku's chest, letting out all her sorrow and tears. He held his and just offered a silent prayer for his friend. Now...was not the time to cry. He needed to be strong..._

_The only ones who didn't believe it were Kagome and Shippo. They were both crying freely and staring at the body of their dearly loved friend. Yet it seemed so unreal...like he was just sleeping...not dead..._

_Shippo soon started to sob uncontrollably and buried his nose in the crook of Inuyasha's neck once his shock wore off. He smelled different...he smelled like his father and mother now...he didn't like that. He wanted him back..._

_Kagome made no movement. She just stared at the face of her once beautiful love...her world just crashed down on her shoulders. She just...she was lost now...she didn't know how to react to this..._

_"Inuyasha...you promised...-"_

_**"-...YOU PROMISED!" **_

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along_

**_"INUYASHA! YOU PROMISED ME! YOU PROMISED!_** I...you promised you wouldn't go..." Kagome couldn't take the pain aymore. It was just too fresh, too real to ignore. She needed to let it all out, it was killing her inside.

She was crying now, crying it all out. She was a mess without him, and she couldn't live with it...she just couldn't. She needed him...

"You hear that Inuyasha? I need you, ok. I need you back with me! I cant stand this pain, this lonliness...god Inuyasha I love you! I love you so much and I wont stop loving you until hell makes me! I...I cant live on like this! **_INUYASHA, I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU!" _**

"You have to try, Kagome."

_When you'd cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

Kagome gasped and lifted her tear stained face to see what she thought of as a magnificent vision. He was there...a golden aroura around him that made him seem so angelic...made him seem like a god...

"Inuyasha..." Many times she had asked herself if she saw him again what would she say. She had made a list and now it just flew right out of her head. She couldn't form words on her own...oh no. She hadn't seen him for a year, and now she sees him. Her golden savior. He was right there infront of her eyes...and it was real...yet so distant...

"You have to try and live without me Kagome-"

"I **cant! **I **need** you! _Please_ Inuyasha, I'm begging you, take me with you! Please...I cant **stand** this life anymore!" She pleaded and pleaded, but all he did was smile with a far away sadness in his eyes. He kneeled infront of her and lifted his hand to tenderly cup her cheek. It felt like a feather light touch to her...so warm and teasing...

"I cant take you with me, Kagome. Your job here isn't done. I was supposed to die because I already accomplished my reason for living. And it was to protect you. You showed me true friendship and love...you gave me a family and friends, things that I've longed for since the beginning of time. I couldn't be happier...but you...you're not done yet."

"What more is there waiting for me that's not you? What more is there in life that I need to keep on living?" Kagome almost choked on her words, but she said them strong and firmly. She had her chance to speak with Inuyasha, and she was going to cherish that moment for the rest of her life.

"You need to live the rest of my life for me. Be there for Sango and Miroku. Be there for Shippo, our foster son. They need you, Kagome, you're the one that's holding them together. You're time will come like everyone else's, you dont have to make it earlier."

"But-"

"But nothing. Do this for me, Kagome. Live out your life for me. Remember, I'll always be in your heart as long as your love for me is strong, all you have to do is look for me. I'll always protect you, and I dont plan on leaving you. Be brave, and dont hold back in anything in life because of me. And when your time comes, I'll be waiting for you."

"Inuyasha..."

_And I've held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have _

_All of me..._

_Me..._

_Me..._

Kagome just stared at him, and then she nodded with renewed determination. She saw him smile and he drew her close in a chaste kiss...a kiss that held his undying love for her. A kiss she knew that came from him. And she showed him as well just how much she missed him, how much she needed him, how much she loved him.

Then he pulled back and disappeared, leaving behind golden sparkles everywhere. But this time...Kagome wasn't sad when he left. She should have been, but she wasn't. She was happy. She was happy because she got to see him one more time. She was happy because she found a reason to live...

"I wont let you down, Inuyasha. I promise. I'll keep on living for you, and I'll see you again when the time is right. But for now...I have some apologizing to do..."

And with this new life resolution, Kagome stood up from the ground and looked up at the Goshinboku. She knew it was her connection with Inuyasha...it was just a feeling she had. She smiled and said a soft thank you to the tree. It was because of that tree that she first met Inuyasha. That tree was her everything.

_Their everything. _

_**A/N: WOOT I'M DONE! I dont know if i'll write an epilouge to this. Song fic form or just regular form. I already have an idea for it. Well let me know review wise! BYE!**_


End file.
